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The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April O'Neil and her cameraman Vern Fenwick to save the city and unravel Shredder's diabolical plan.

Written by Paramount Pictures. Folks, it's no exaggeration when I say this one is bad. The Ninja Turtles are a lore. Every telling of the story deserves its own version, like Dracula, Sherlock Holmes, or Batman.

Though I have a version of the Turtles I like best, I can set aside that prejudice for this review. It's just a very awful film. It's so bad, I don't understand how the current rating stands at 6 stars.

The movie has no real sense of identity, like the filmmakers really had no idea what to do with it. Where are the Turtles going to go? What are they going to do when they get there?

Is it going to be spring time or winter? Should it be in the city or in the mountains? Low to the ground in dark settings or high up on roof tops in broad daylight?

Are the Turtles stealthy ninjas or mini-Hulks that just needlessly destroy stuff? And are they main characters or secondary plot pieces?

Is April O'Neil tech savvy, or does she still conduct interviews with pen and paper? Through the first half-hour, perhaps even by the end of the film, you'll have a tough time convincing yourself the title shouldn't have been "April O'Neil: The Movie.

Just, really, they had no clue how to make those four elements work. They're not so much teenagers as they are just dumb.

The movie lets the Turtles aspect be self-implied. The Mutants part as well, though it does play loosely into the plot heh, just kidding, there is no plot.

The idea of ninjutsu, though, is a complete afterthought. Seriously, it's just sandwiched in there somewhere and plays no relevance to the story whatsoever, nor has an identifying presence for any character, even Splinter or Shredder.

Yeah, Shredder. That's a whole other useless incorporation. The guy is somewhere between a clunky Power Ranger villain the ones in great big suits that don't move very well and Bane from "Batman and Robin.

That "honor" would go to William Fichtner's character, Eric sounds-like-sex Sacks. Shredder's just a tool. His appearance, fighting-style, and overall awkwardness are all loud, awful reminders of how the filmmakers knew nothing about ninjutsu or how to use it.

Just make 'em fight with ninja weapons, put lots and lots of blades around, and be sure the word 'Japan' gets into someone's origin story somewhere.

Close enough. There were times when the movie tried to force something humorous, but in the theater I was in, no one laughed. And I was in a packed house.

Their personalities are nothing but typecasting: Leo is the serious control-freak, Raphael the brooding B.

Yeah, nerds are inventive, right? Let's make him a snorting, glasses-wearing dork! You know what, just make him Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks.

You never feel like you get to be a part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They're just kind of there. The viewer is more watching from April or Vern's vantage point, never fully involved in the brotherhood.

There's a whole lot more stupid that goes on for the sake of convenience: like Donatello's bo able to flip over an SUV, or the fact that an iron construction beam can't support the weight of Leo and Donnie, but Raph who comes to their rescue can what, are they as heavy as semi-trucks?

Watch out for the abundance of product-placement. This is a Michael Bay produced film, remember. At one point, Splinter pretty much monologues a Pizza Hut ad.

In closing, I want to leave you with this, because until we get this, these horrible, ridiculous movies will continue to get made.

Speaking specifically about the latest Transformers installation, "They love to hate, and I don't care.

Let them hate. They're still going to see the movie! I'm intentionally avoiding the usual puns like "it was a shell-acking" or "I left the theater shell-shocked" because, again, my affinity for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has nothing to do with how bad this movie is.

As long as we keep paying to see what we know is going to be a bad movie, they'll keep getting made. And it doesn't matter that they're bad, because we'll pay for it no matter how bad it is.

Or maybe these movies keep getting manufactured because there is actually a niche of people who like them. After all, it has a rating of 6 out of 10 stars Looking for some great streaming picks?

Check out some of the IMDb editors' favorites movies and shows to round out your Watchlist. Visit our What to Watch page.

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Plot Summary. Plot Keywords. Parents Guide. External Sites. User Reviews. User Ratings. External Reviews. Cependant, nous avons cree un systeme beaucoup plus pratique.

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Vous n'avez pas besoin de vous enregistrer, de regarder des publicites, de repondre a des sms, etc.

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